Rigby's Body / Mordecai and the Rigbys Lyrics & Tabs by Regular Show
Rigby's Body / Mordecai and the Rigbys
guitar chords lyrics
Mordecai: Augh, this sucks.
Rigby: What's that supposed to mean?
Mordecai: It means that the next time we get to pick our job for the day, I get to pick. Why did you pick the snack bar? This is like the worst job at the park, dude!
Rigby: I think it's the funnest job at the park.
Mordecai: You don't really think that. You just don't want to admit that you're wrong.
Rigby: Why would I admit something that I'm not?
Mordecai: Dude, seriously, this is more boring than watching you trying to read a children's book.
Rigby: Is it more boring than your face?
Mordecai: I don't know, is it more boring than my fist in your face?
Rigby: Is it more boring than my fist in your face, you turd!
Mordecai: You're a turd!
Rigby: No, you're a turd!
Mordecai & Rigby: (Starts fighting) You're the turd!
(Pops appears)
Pops: Mordecai, Rigby, stop. We can all be turds!
Mordecai & Rigby: (Starts fighting) You're the turd!
(Pops appears)
Pops: Mordecai, Rigby, stop. We can all be turds!
Mordecai & Rigby: (Start dusting themselves off) Oh, hey Pops.
Pops: So, how do you like being the guardians of the snacks?
Rigby: It's awesome.
Mordecai: This place is lame.
(Mordecai and Rigby start fighting again)
Pops: But Mordecai, don't you like eating snacks for free?
Mordecai: What?
Pops: When I work here, all the snacks are free! Ta ta! (Walks away)
(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other for a moment, then duck down under the counter, shoveling doughnuts into their mouths.)
Rigby: I guess this means I was right about the snack bar.
Mordecai: Yeaa-uhh!
(A montage begins of Mordecai and Rigby eating a variety of snacks. At the end, the Snack Bar is a mess, and Mordecai and Rigby are sick from overeating.)
Mordecai: I need to eat something healthy, like a salad or something.
Rigby: What?! Are you kidding? Dude, all these snacks are free, dude. (Stops himself from vomiting) Trust me. If we keep eating, we'll feel better in no time.
Mordecai: Oh, if we eat more, we'll feel better? Dude, quit being a loser.
Rigby: Loser?! I don't know if I want to listen to the guy who was wrong about the snack bar being cool. No, I think I'd rather listen to the guy who's right all the time. ME. (Holds up a fried soda cup and takes a bite out of it)
Mordecai: Augh! Sick!
Rigby: Hmm. Hmm. (Grimaces in pain as his stomach rumbles)
(Clock transition to the house. It is nighttime. The scene changes to inside the house, where Mordecai is eating a salad.)
Mordecai: (Takes a bite of the salad) Ahh. I feel so much better.
Rigby: (Who is next to a blender with a doughnut, candy, and other junk food inside) So do I. (He starts the blender, grinding all the junk food into goop. He then proceeds to drink it, grimacing in pain again as his stomach rumbles.)
Mordecai: Dude, I'm telling you. If you keep eating like that, your body's gonna quit on you.
Rigby: Stop talking!
Mordecai: Whatever. I'm just trying to help. (Walks out of the kitchen)
Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. I'll show him. (Puts another doughnut in his mouth. A second later, Rigby is rolling on the floor, groaning in pain) Why isn't more food working?! (Screams in pain, then picks up the doughnut next to him) One more should do it... (He suddenly drops the doughnut as he loses control of his hands) Huh?! (Rigby's hands grab his face, pull him to his feet, and drag him around the room. He smashes into a wall, then falls over the fallen chair. His hands then pull really hard, causing his eyes to roll back into his head and glow) What are you doing?! (His hands keep pulling, eventually ejecting Rigby as a green glob of consciousness with Rigby's eyes.)
Rigby: Aww, let me back in! (His body pushes him away and runs off) Wait! Come back! (tries to follow his body, but ends up inside a bucket on the floor) Ohhh... whatever! I'm just gonna chill inside this bucket!
(Clock transition to the next day. Mordecai enters the kitchen.)
Rigby: (Calling from the bucket) Mordecai! Mordecai!
Mordecai: (Sees Rigby as the green glob) Aww, SICK! What the heck is that?!
Rigby: Ha ha! Who's the loser now, Mordecai?
Mordecai: Wait... Rigby?!
Rigby: Dude, in your face! I was right! My stomach doesn't even hurt anymore.
Mordecai: That's because you don't even have a BODY anymore! Dude, this is bad.
Rigby: Yeah, bad like good! Now shovel some cheese curls into my trash hole!
Mordecai: (sighs, picks up the bucket) You'd better hope Skips knows how to fix this.
(Clockwise wipe to Skips' House)
Skips: What happened to his body?
Mordecai: Dude, I don't know, it's like ditched him or something from eating too much junk food.
Skips: Well, it looks like it's not that big of a deal, if he doesn't mind being a bodiless consciousness for the rest of his life.
Rigby: It's cool, I don't mind.
Mordecai: What?! No! Dude, quit being a loser.
Rigby: Since when does being right make you a--
Mordecai: (puts a lid on the bucket and sighs) Skips, what do we have to do? I can't let him stay like this.
Skips: That's a bit tougher. Once the body departs, you only have till sunset to get it back. You know where it is?
Mordecai: No.
Skips: Hmm, then we'll have to find it. Let's go.
Mordecai: (walking out the door with Skips) We'll be right back, Rigby. Just stay here.
(Mordecai and Skips drive away with the cart, leaving Rigby, who is stuck in the bucket, alone.)
Rigby: What? Where ya goin'? At least shovel some cheese curls into my trash hole. Guys? Guys?
(Clockwise wipe to the park; Rigby's body lays the salad down, looks both ways to make sure no one sees him, and starts eating. Cut to Skips' house.)
Rigby: (moving the bucket with all his might, although bodiless; grunting) Ergghh!! Phew! I guess it is kinda hard to move around without my body. (Rigby then sees the hockey stick and roller skates, then comes up with an idea to move around easier)
(Clockwise wipe back to the park; Mordecai and Skips sneak behind a bush as they hear Rigby's body chewing salad)
Skips: Shh. (Parts the bushes)
Mordecai: (whispering) What's it doing?
Skips: Eating a salad. Rush him on the count of three.
Mordecai: Okay.
Skips: One... two...
(Rigby wheels in with his new way of moving when bodiless. The tape from the hockey stick is strapped to the roller skates and his bucket.)
Rigby: (loudly) Hey, guys! What's up?
(Rigby's body, hearing this, stops eating the salad and runs away.)
Mordecai and Skips: No!
Skips: (points at Rigby) We told you to stay put! (walks away)
Mordecai: Ugh! Rigby, you scared it away!
Rigby: Oh, don't worry about that! Remember how I said I don't need it? Well, I was right again! Dude, check it! (wheels around as Mordecai watches in horror) It's a trash can and a roller blade.
Mordecai: I can't believe you! Please, just stay put! (walks away)
Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. All this being right is making me hungry.
(At the snack bar, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are behind the counter, where Mordecai and Rigby were at the beginning of the episode)
Muscle Man: This. Sucks! Wait, what is that? (sees Rigby in the bucket skating to the Snack Bar)
Rigby: (slams the snack bar door open) Gimme some snacks!
Hi Five Ghost: (scared) What are you?!
Muscle Man: Looks like a bucket of diarrhea.
Rigby: It's me, Rigby!
Muscle Man: (terrified) Oh, man! That boot with wheels stole Rigby's voice!
Rigby: No, I didn't steal anything.
Muscle Man: You're not stealing these voices. C'mon Five, let's bam! (They climb out of the snack bar and run off)
Rigby: Come back!
Muscle Man: No way, bro!
Rigby: It's me, Rigby! (trips on a rock) Aw, man.
(Clockwise wipe to the park. Skips picks up the eaten salad.)
Skips: (sniffs the salad) He's close. I'll take care of the body. You go find Rigby. We don't have much time.
(The sun is shown over the building as Mordecai is looking for Rigby at the Snack Bar)
Mordecai: Rigby! Rigby! Where is he?
(Walks out of the Snack Bar. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost walk up to him, armed with weapons; Muscle Man is carrying a bat and Hi Five Ghost is wearing a brass knuckle)
Mordecai: Hey, have you guys seen Rigby?
Muscle Man: No. Have you seen a magic garbage can? We need to beat the living-
Mordecai: Magic garbage can? That was Rigby! Which way did he go?
(Rigby is heard screaming; a few feet away a trash collector is dumping Rigby into a garbage truck. He throws the skate-can back onto the ground)
Mordecai: (gasps) Rigby!
(The truck pulls away with Rigby still inside. We see Rigby in the filthy, roach-infested truck, recoiling and squealing in horror)
Rigby: Help!
Bodybuilder: No-one can hear you.
Rigby: Who's there?
Bodybuilder: Don't worry: just another bodiless consciousness. (Admires Rigby and rolls around him, talking) Woah! Did you work out way too hard, too?
Rigby: N... no. I ate too much junk food.
Bodybuilder: Yep, that'll do it. Me? I was a bodybuilder. (We see a flashback of a huge, muscular man lifting weights at a gym) I could have gone pro. My friend kept telling me, (a pink blob morphs out of the basketball and starts speaking in angry, mocking tones) "If you keep pumpin' iron like that, your body's gonna quit on you!" I told him he was full of it! (Morphs back into the basketball) But I didn't get my body back in time and now look at me: stuck with a basketball for a body.
Rigby: Yeah, well, my body's still good.
(The blob pops back out of the basketball for a second)
Bodybuilder: Wait, your body's still good? Well, whatcha doin' in here, dummy?
Rigby: I...
Bodybuilder: You must not want it. You mind if I take it?
Rigby: No!
(The basketball bounces away)
Bodybuilder: Don't worry, I'll find it. So long, sucka!
Rigby: (anguished) No!!! (falls over, crying, but looks over to see the trash door open and Mordecai appear) Mordecai! You were right and I was wrong! (Still crying) I'm sorry for being such a loser. (Pitifully whining in a high voice) Please help me get my body back!
Mordecai: Don't wory, dude. I think we can get it back in time. And even if we mess up, you've always got this (Holds up the skate-can)
Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhh!!!
Rigby: But seriously, dude, I want my old body back.
Mordecai: (into two-way radio) Skips, I found Rigby.
Skips: (through radio) I found the body, but you'd better hurry. We got a problem.
(Rigby looks worried. The scene cuts to the park, where Rigby's body, clad in a bodybuilding outfit, is limbering up in preparation to lift a dumbbell. He tries to lift, but immediately drops the weight. The bodybuilder's essence morphs out of Rigby's body and addresses him angrily)
Bodybuilder: Body, you're worthless! (slaps the body) I can't believe you can't do a simple clean and jerk!
(Mordecai and Skips are shown behind Rigby's body. Mordecai is holding up the trash can with Rigby in it)
Rigby: Hey! What are you doin' with my body?!
Bodybuilder: Oh, it's you! (morphs back into Rigby's body) Whaddaya think? Pretty cool, huh?
Rigby: No, not pretty cool. You dress me like a loser!
Bodybuilder: (flexes grossly) Aw, you don't like weightlifting singlets? No wonder your body left you. Oh well. Now it's not you anymore... (flexes again) it's me!
Rigby: Augh! Gimme back my body!
Bodybuilder: Finders keepers.
Mordecai: Skips!
Skips: We tried it the nice way. Now we do it the Skips way.
(Skips' nipples glitter and thump. The bodybuilder looks nervous for a second, then throws his singlet towards Mordecai and runs off)
Bodybuilder: So long, suckers!
(Mordecai, Rigby and Skips chase the bodybuilder through the park. The bodybuilder sprints ahead onto the road, knocking over a cyclist in his haste.)
Skips: He's too fast.
(Pops pulls alongside in a golf cart)
Pops: Are you having a game of tag, turds?
Skips: I really wish you wouldn't teach him those words.
(Skips and Mordecai jump into the cart, with Rigby in hand. Skips takes the wheel)
Skips: Pops, slide over.
(The chase continues up and down the park hill)
Rigby: I'll take it from here!
(Rigby dives from the cart before Mordecai can grab him)
Mordecai: Rigby! No!
(Rigby and his body are seen tumbling down the side of the switchback road as the cart continues on the pavement)
Skips: It's too steep. We'll have to go around.
(Further down the road, Rigby and his body emerge from the bushes, still fighting)
Rigby: Give me my body back!
Bodybuilder: No! Get off me!
(Rigby manages to crawl back into his body.)
Rigby: Get outta my body!
(The two essences pop out of Rigby's chest and continue to wrestle)
Bodybuilder: No: you get outta the body, you worm!
(The bodybuilder's essence throws Rigby's essence at the cart, hitting Skips on the face. Skips swerves the cart and blindly runs into Rigby's body, sending the bodybuilder's essence flying to a nearby playground, where he lands on a slide and becomes one with it. A fat kid slides down and is seen walking away from the slide)
Bodybuilder: Aw, man, my mouth was open!
(Back at the cart, the four park workers look at Rigby's body on the road. It has a tire track right across its back)
Rigby: Dude, we did it! I got my body back!
Mordecai: (Moans in disgust) Are you... sure you still... want it?
(We zoom in on the body and see it even more mangled, with flies buzzing around it. Rigby picks up the body and its arms hang limp and broken)
Rigby: I'll never treat you like that again.
Skips: Quick! Before the sun sets!
(As Rigby watches the sun set, he dives into his body, which shoots out white light in beautiful rays)
Pops: (Eyes wide in wonder) Glorious.
(The white light stops, and Rigby's eyes roll forward in his head. He blinks in recognition. Mordecai leans over him and puts a hand on his belly)
Mordecai: Dude. How do you feel?
Rigby: (pause) Aaaauuuggghhh!
(Cuts to the interior of the snack bar, where Rigby is wrapped almost entirely in plaster, sitting on a wheelchair, with bleary eyes)
Rigby: Well Mordecai, I guess you were right about the snack bar being lame. Especially now that we're not into eating all the free snacks.
Mordecai: Oh, about that. Those snacks weren't free.
Rigby: What?
Mordecai: Turns out only Pops gets snacks for free.
Rigby: (Pitiful whine) Pops?
Mordecai: Yeah. And I guess we're supposed to work here for the next six months just to pay for it all.
Rigby: Awww, turds!
(Rigby enters The Coffee Shop and is carrying a big box)
Rigby: Dude! Check it out, man! They're here!
Mordecai: What's here?
Rigby: Our fake band t-Shirts that we ordered from that site last night.
Mordecai: What?
Rigby: Last night, I asked you if you wanted to be in a band and you said...
(A flashback of the previous night shows Mordecai and Rigby pounding sodas at the computer)
Mordecai: Yes! I wanna be in a band with you. Alright, but we gotta have a cool band name. What do you think of "Cool Dudes"?
Rigby: "Face Punch."
Mordecai: "Rad 'N' Subtract."
Rigby: "Helicopter Crash."
Mordecai: What about "Mustache Cash Stash"?
Rigby: That's it! That's it!
Mordecai: Order the shirts! Order the shirts!
(The flashback ends)
Mordecai: Oh yeah, T-Shirts.
Rigby: Check it out! Bam! (Pulls out a "Mordecai and the Rigbys" t-shirt)
Mordecai: Mordecai and the Rigbys? What happened to Mustache Cash Stash?!
Rigby: I changed it. Awesome, right? (Throws a t-shirt at Mordecai)
Mordecai: But that's just our names! We aren't really going to wear these around, are we?
(Rigby puts on the shirt. Mordecai looks at him disapprovingly)
Margaret: Woah, rad shirts! What are those for?
Rigby: They're for our band.
Margaret: You guys are in a band? "Mordecai and the Rigbys"? That's so cool.
Mordecai: No, no, no: we're not in a band, heh...
Margaret: (skeptically) So, what, it's some sort of fake band?
Mordecai: No, it's a real band, but just... not a big deal, you know?
Margaret: (gasps) Your band should play the open mic tomorrow night! (Hands Mordecai and Rigby a flyer)
Mordecai: Yeah, for sure, uh... totally.
Margaret: Awesome. I can't wait to see you guys play. Well, I guess I'll see you then.
Mordecai: Yeah... see you then... then. (Faceplants on the table)
Rigby: What was that, man?!
Mordecai: I dunno! I just didn't want her to think we had a stupid fake band!
Rigby: But now we gotta play that open mic tomorrow!
Mordecai: OK, OK, we can totally do this. We just gotta learn one song by tomorrow night.
Rigby: One song?
Mordecai: One song.
(Cuts to the house. Inside the garage, Mordecai and Rigby turn on their amps, and are shown wielding guitars)
Mordecai: Ready?
Rigby: Shreddy.
Mordecai: One, two, three, four!
(They fumble aimlessly at the strings, producing distorted noise)
Mordecai: OK, stop, stop. We need help.
(Cuts to Pops' room, where Pops is playing a beautiful tune on the harpsichord)
Pops: A two-man ensemble? What a charming idea!
Mordecai: How'd you learn to be so good, Pops?
Pops: Ah-ha! (Rises from the harpsichord bench and pulls out some records from inside. The first is 'How to be a Musician' by 'Sir Geoffrey') Throw these records on the old talking machine and you'll be ready for your open mic in no time!
Mordecai: Agh, you know about the open mic night?
Pops: Yes, everybody knows about it: we're all going to be there!
Mordecai and Rigby: Augh!
(Cuts back to the garage. Rigby places the first record on an old-time gramaphone)
Rigby: Wait. If we're gonna learn this in time, then you gotta take this seriously.
Mordecai: What?
Rigby: Put on the shirt.
Mordecai: Fine. (Puts on his Mordecai and the Rigbys t-shirt) Play the record.
(Rigby winds up the gramaphone and places the needle. A scratchy recording is heard)
Sir Geoffrey: So, you want to become a musician? Bravo! Now, what is the first thing all good musicians require?
Mordecai: Talent?
Sir Geoffrey: Yes! Good personal hygiene is the key to becoming a successful gentleman musician!
Mordecai: (Talks over the record) Augh, this is gonna take like ten years!
Rigby: Yeah, and there's still two more after this one! (Holds up the remaining two records)
Mordecai: There's gotta be a faster way.
Sir Geoffrey: ... all washed up? Good! Now just locate your...
Rigby: All three at once?
(Cuts to Rigby and Mordecai setting three records. Sir Geoffrey talks over himself as they strum badly at their guitars once again)
Sir Geoffrey: (from three speakers)... one, two, three... A minor seventh... Harmonic can be tapped...
Rigby: Dude, this isn't working! I can't understand anything.
Mordecai: Dude, we gotta keep going. Do you wanna look like an idiot at the open mic?
(Mordecai shoves Rigby, who backs into an amp, knocking an opened soda can onto the floor. The soda flows over to power strip on the floor, causing a small electrical fire and plenty of sparks. The power strip explodes, and a bolt of yellow energy flows up through the cables into the gramaphone needles. The gramaphones shoot yellow power through the room and onto the ceiling as Mordecai and Rigby scream. Suddenly the room goes black)
Mordecai: What was that?
(The light re-appears and the room glows yellow, buzzing)
Mordecai: Dude, what's happening?!
Rigby: I don't know!
(The gramaphones levitate into mid air, focus their power into a central ball, spin around, then shoot a focused beam onto the floor. Stylised silhouettes of Mordecai and Rigby appear. The new Mordecai's arm, clad in red, reaches out, and present Mordecai and Rigby's guitars float away towards the new duo)
Mordecai and Rigby: Woah!
(The future Mordecai and Rigby launch into superb guitar solos. Future Mordecai has a goatee and shades, and is dressed somewhat like Michael Jackson; future Rigby has shaved most of his tail, is wearing a flannel shirt and shades, skin-tight black pants, brown boots, and has a pencil thin mustache)
Mordecai and Rigby: Woooaaah!
Mordecai: Dude, who are you guys?
Future Mordecai: (in British accent) We're Mordecai and Rigby. Who the blazes are you?
Mordecai: Uhh...
Future Mordecai: Hah! Just kiddin'. We know who you are. Coz we're you in ten years!
Future Rigby: (in British accent) You don't know it yet, but this is the moment where we teach you how to rock! (Makes metal sign with right hand)
Mordecai: Dude, this is perfect!
Rigby: Wait, wait. We suck, and if you're us, doesn't that mean you suck too?
Future Mordecai: Didn't you just hear us play?
Future Rigby: Yeah, we're super-successful musicians in the future.
Mordecai: Yeah, look at us, dude! We're wearing sunglasses!
Future Mordecai: Our future's so bright, we gotta wear shades.
Rigby: Awesome! Oh, hey - in the future, do we get that thing we always wanted?
Future Rigby: Oh, we got it. (Pulls up shirt to reveal a biting shark tattoo on his armpit, which bites when he moves his arm)
Rigby: Awesome!
Mordecai: Oh, hey: in the future, do I get to go out with Margaret?
Future Mordecai: Huh! (Suggestively) I wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise.
Mordecai: Aww.
Future Mordecai: Look. We promise we'll get you ready for tomorrow night's gig if you're willing to put in the work.
Mordecai: Yeah, whatever it takes.
Future Rigby: We said the same thing ten years ago.
Mordecai and Rigby: Awesome!
Future Mordecai: Let's rock!
(A montage shows in which, to the backing of the future Mordecai and Rigby's hit song, they teach the present Mordecai and Rigby all about rock moves and stances. They don't teach them at any time how to actually play an instrument - they practice on brooms and try on new clothes, struggling to walk in their skin-tight pants. The montage ends with future Mordecai and Rigby sitting on the amps applauding their old selves)
Future Mordecai: That's it. You're ready!
Mordecai and Rigby: What?
Mordecai: But we never learned how to play!
Rigby: We haven't even picked up a guitar.
Mordecai: Come on: we got the look, we've got the moves down, I know the lyrics backwards and forwards. Just teach us how to play!
Future Mordecai: Woah, woah, woah! Don't worry. You know enough. You're gonna be fine! Besides, it's too late to teach you anything else. Gig's in 20 minutes.
Mordecai: We're screwed.
(Cuts to the coffee shop exterior, where an excited crowd is going inside. In the coffee shop we see Angel playing a solo piece to wild acclaim. Benson, Skips and Pops enter and take seats)
Angel: (sings) ... You're my sweet little baby, and I think I might be crazy for you...
Benson: I can't believe they're gonna play tonight. Those two slackers have never even picked up an instrument. This is gonna be a trainwreck.
Pops: Woo, I love trains!
Angel: (sings) ... my sweet little baby, and I think I might be crazy for you. (song ends to wild applause. Rigby and Mordecai watch from behind a curtain)
Rigby: Dang!
Mordecai: Yeah. (Mordecai walks backstage, holding his stomach and groaning. Rigby picks up a box)
Rigby: Should I hand out the last of the t-shirts?
Mordecai: You brought the t-shirts?!
Rigby: Yeah, for the fans.
Mordecai: Dude, we don't even have any fans. (Grabs the box of t-shirts)
(Margaret enters from through the curtain)
Margaret: Oh, wow! You guys look like rock stars. Hey, can I have one of those?
Mordecai: Uh, yeah... (chuckles nervously) Here's a small.
(Margaret struggles to pull on the shirt. Mordecai watches slack-jawed and drops the box. Margaret eventually manages to get the shirt on)
Margaret: How do I look?
Mordecai: (pause) Amazing.
Margaret: I can hand these out for you guys. Get everyone pumped for the closing act.
Mordecai and Rigby: Closing act?!
Margaret: Yeah, save the best for last! Well, break a leg, guys. I can't wait.
Announcer: (from through the curtain) And finally, give it up for Mordecai and the Rigbys! Yeah, come on!
(The Future Mordecai and Rigby enter the dressing room)
Future Mordecai: Sorry we're late.
Mordecai: Where've you guys been?!
Future Mordecai: We had to get you these (holds up glowing guitar picks with a lightning motif)
Mordecai: Picks?! But we still don't even know how to play!
Future Mordecai: Just go out there, you'll be great. Just like we were ten years ago.
Mordecai: But...
Future Mordecai: (shoving Mordecai and Rigby through the curtain) Crowd's waitin'! Go on!
(Mordecai and Rigby appear next to the stage. The crowd, dressed in the t-shirts, cheers for them. They take to the stage under the 'OPEN MIC NIGHT' banner. They put on their guitars and plug them into the amps as Mordecai takes the mic)
Mordecai: Uhh...
(Muscle Man is seen at the back of the crowd, standing on his chair and waving his shirt above his head)
Muscle Man: Come on, ladies, play us a tasty lick!
(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other helplessly. Future Rigby motions to Rigby to strum his guitar. Rigby does so and a perfect chord comes out. Mordecai does the same, then they both launch into brilliant lead guitar parts)
Benson: Holy crap!
(Mordecai starts to sing the song)
Mordecai: Your eyes starin' into my eyes, who am I but a guy with two eyes on the prize, and the prize in my eyes is ten times the surprise in your eyes as I kiss you goodnight / The smile is the fire that lights my soul, gonna remember it until I grow old, cos life's too short, we've gotta do things right, so baby let's just party toni-ight / Baby, let's just party toni-ight!
(More solos follow, but Mordecai drops his pick. Struggling to lift it up, he hears his guitar part still playing, and his singing part still going, even though he's away from the mic. His guitar, he sees, is plugged into the amp, but the amp isn't plugged into anything.)
Mordecai: (yelling) Rigby!
(Rigby is still rocking out. The crowd cheers as Mordecai waves his arms to stop them.)
Mordecai: No! Augh! (Mordecai sees a CD player at the side of the stage. Future Mordecai and Rigby wave and play air-guitar. Mordecai rushes over and turns off the CD, and the crowd falls silent but for a few calls of "What?")
Rigby: (still playing the unplugged electric guitar, badly) Uhuh! Yeah! Yeah, baby!
Mordecai: You can stop now.
(The crowd boos and heckles)
Mordecai: Wait, wait. I can explain, I can explain! We were lip-synching.
(The crowd boos again. Many throw their t-shirts onto the stage in disgust)
Mordecai: Hey, look, I don't blame you. We thought we could just order some t-shirts and pass ourselves off as a band. But it turns out playing music's really hard to do. We just got caught up in the dream, man. And just for a little while it was real. But that's over. And lip-synching's not cool. So we're breaking up the band.
Future Mordecai: (runs onto the stage with Future Rigby) Why'd you stop? It was going great.
Mordecai: You tricked us into lip-synching!
Future Mordecai: Look. We've become rich and famous because of lip-synching. Don't you wanna be a part of that?
Mordecai: (angry) No, that's lame! You may be me, but that's not the me I wanna be.
Rigby: Me neither!
Mordecai: Mordecai and the Rigbys is over. (The two take off their t-shirts. Future Mordecai and Future Rigby begin to fade from view)
Future Mordecai and Future Rigby: Woah, woah!
Future Mordecai: OK, dude! Think about what you're doing!
Future Rigby: Yeah, stop, man!
Future Mordecai: If you break up the band, what are we gonna do in the future?!
Mordecai: I wouldn't wanna ruin the surprise. (Mordecai starts to rip the t-shirt)
Future Mordecai and Future Rigby: Nooo!
(The t-shirt rips in two. Future Mordecai and Future Rigby explode in a ball of white light, dazzling the crowd. After a moment of shocked silence, Benson rises to his feet and claps. Slowly the rest of the crowd joins in)
Benson: Yeah-heah! Alright!
(The crowd cheers more)
Rigby: I don't know why you thought this open mic would be embarrassing. This is awesome!
Margaret: (waving through the crowd) Mordecai! Mordecai!
Mordecai: (waving back and fighting through) Margaret! Margaret! Margaret!
Margaret: Mordecai!
Mordecai: Margaret!
Margaret: That was pretty cool, what you said up there!
Mordecai: Thanks, Margaret.
Margaret: Oh, hey, have you met my new boyfriend, Angel?
(Mordecai looks stunned)
Angel: C'mon, baby. We don't wanna be late for our (sings) dinner reserva-ations!
Margaret: Oh, yeah. See you, guys! Oh, Angel, you have such a great voice.
(Mordecai and Rigby stand alone)
Rigby: (pause) Maybe you should have just kept lip-synching.
